Day: July 18, 2017

It’s NO shock why our children are suffering

 

We don’t wake up every morning saying ..”How can I ruin my child’s life today?” Well most of us do NOT! Our parents didn’t either. They were fighting their own inner battle. We are a product of our environment. We’ve all heard, “We become who we spend time with.”

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”  ~Jim Rohn

Over 90% of families suffer from some type of dysfunction in the home along with all the trauma some children are facing leave lasting  damaging results that limit them from being their best self. Our wiring comes from our life experiences. As parents we often feel hopeless, or tell ourselves, “That’s just how teenagers are, or I’ve tried everything.”  We often don’t understand ourselves, making it very difficult to understand our teenager (creatures).

We are living in a world of  rapidly developing technology, fast paced doing. We are Human beings..not Human doings.  If we don’t take the time to create balance, heal ourselves, learn coping skills and strategies to reduce stress, anxiety, depression and break- through to learn what we can do differently, that is starts with us,  the patterns we learned sub-consciously will continue through a dysfunctional cycle. Our conflicts cannot be resolved in the same energy that created them. When we raise our awareness we are able to see how we are showing up to others and bringing our past pain into the relationships we have with our children, taking it out on them and reacting from stress/conflict rather than from our core (best self) and responding.  Be kind to yourself, you love your children, question is.. do you know how to love yourself? We can’t properly love others and meet their needs when we don’t even know how to love ourselves.

There is much hope!  My mission is to help raise the awareness in as many individuals and families as I can to create more peace and love in the home.  When you think you’ve tried everything…you haven’t if you were trying to resolve conflict with the same hopeless and frustration thinking.  It’s not your fault, and there’s much that can be done to heal ourselves, help our children and have a happier, safer home!

5 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved

Many of us would probably be arrested for treating our friends and family the way we treat ourselves. Think of all the negative self talk, criticism, the emotional and physical abuse we do to our minds, heart and body. Have you ever looked in the mirror and told yourself  “I love you”?  It sounds crazy right? Well you’d be surprised, it’s not that easy to do, but it can be. It takes about 9 days to create a new habit and about 21 days to break one. This is not exact,  but hopefully you get the idea. We can’t just do something for two days and say, I tried it didn’t work. Well, you can certainly tell yourself that however it’s not the truth!

1st way is self affirmations. Look into any mirror daily and tell yourself. I love you, I am good enough. 3 times per day or the very least when you brush your teeth.

2nd  be kind to yourself. Be aware of your self talk. When you notice a change in emotion, what are you telling yourself? How true is it? Rephrase to a positive, kind and loving thought that you would tell a loved one.

3rd do something for you everyday What do you love? Do you enjoy reading, meditating, nature, music, water or animals? Allow yourself time everyday even for only 10 minutes to really enjoy and be present just being, while experiencing something you love.

4th is movement. Our bodies are meant to move everyday. Do you like to walk, hike, run or bike or dance. Play a sport, lift weights, a home workout or a class at the gym? Brainstorm on what is right for you.

5th We’ve all heard we are what we eat. What is 1 change you can make in your eating habits to get more nutrition from you eat? Not sure..you can write down and create a log to see what you’re eating and then decide 1 thing you can change daily. What is a weakness and what can you replace it with?

It took time to have our choices become habits and addictions. it takes time to make changes, so be patient. Most importantly, it takes consistance. Everthing we do is a choice, they become unconscious actions that lead to rituals, habits and addictions. When we record our actions they become conscious choices and we create new healthy habits by choice. Choices to love ourselves.